McMahon’s compassionate consequences have complicated his new appointment… Director of the CIA…
[CIA Headquarters: Langley, Virginia][CIA Director Vince McMahon, Deputy Director Stephen Kappes, and Associate Deputy Director Scott White are seated inside McMahon’s office, each holding copies of a recent negative report]
Vince McMahon: This Inspector General’s report is unbelievable.
Scott White: And none of it’s kayfabe…
Vince McMahon: Would you be serious? Khalid Sheikh Mohammed was water boarded beyond what was recommended.
Scott White: Yes sir.
Vince McMahon: Who knew about this?
Stephen Kappes: The President, the Vice President, the Attorney General, our former director…
Vince McMahon: Did any of them even consider talking to him?
Scott White: Simple interrogation?
Vince McMahon: No, just talking. Ask him what he knows; offer him some extra privileges if he talks…
[Kappes and White stare at each other]Vince McMahon: We threatened to kill his children?
Stephen Kappes: Those were our instructions.
Vince McMahon: Why we didn’t we offer him a visit with his children?
Scott White: Because Chris Benoit and Eddie Guerrero wont stop taking drugs if you ask them.
Vince McMahon: I resent that! Both of them had suffered years of abuse in another company. I was not responsible.
Stephen Kappes: What was responsible for Test’s overdose? Your daughter inflicting the abuse?
Vince McMahon: I had several conversations with Test, he swore he wasn’t using.
Scott White: I’m shocked.
Vince McMahon: What should I have done? A mock execution? Threatened them with a drill?
Stephen Kappes: Isn’t a drill how you got Owen Hart to scale those rafters?
Vince McMahon: No, he was presented with several options and he chose that one and that could be an effective strategy for what we’re dealing with.
Scott White: Americans don’t want prisoners in their max facilities, Vince. I doubt they’ll volunteer their sports arenas, so we can throw them off the rafters…
Vince McMahon: Who mentioned transport? We present Mohammed or one of them options; I’m sure we’ll get some information.
Stephen Kappes: And if not, two of the good guys and two of the bad guys can hug in the exercise yard.
Vince McMahon: Alright, one more thing… What’s this passage about threatening a prisoner’s family with sexual abuse?
Scott White: That fell under enhanced interrogation.
Vince McMahon: It was authorized?
Stephen Kappes: Correct.
Vince McMahon: Who thought it would work?
Scott White: We all did. Wasn’t threatening sex abuse how you talked Triple H into marrying your daughter?
Contributor: Platinum Smalls & Rick Morris of the FDH Lounge
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