Baby Mama, Lady Gaga Talk Politics, Performances

On the MTV Video Music Awards, Lady Gaga acknowledged lifestyle and religion. On Parks and Recreation, Amy Poehler married two male penguins. The intentional and unintentional social statements were obvious subjects when the actress and activist met recently.
[Starbucks: Hollywood Boulevard]

[Amy Poehler is seated, reading and singing softly]

Amy Poehler: Can’t read my, can’t read my… No he can’t read my poker face…

[Lady Gaga enters. As she awaits service, she observes the actress]

Lady Gaga: Leslie Knope
[Poehler ceases reading and observes the singer]

Amy Poehler: Gaga. Are you here for a concert?

Lady Gaga: No. I’m going to the Raiders game.

Amy Poehler: Are you dating one of the players?

Lady Gaga: No. The house wanted a night off and with their fans, I can blend in.
[Poehler reacts with awkward silence]

Lady Gaga: So, I loved your show.

Amy Poehler: Thank you very much.

Lady Gaga: When you married those male penguins, it was a real statement for equal rights.

Amy Poehler: We were just trying to be cute.
Lady Gaga: Everyone was chanting your name. You were the queen.

Amy Poehler: Well, your acceptance speech really inspired me.

Lady Gaga: For God and the gays, baby.

Amy Poehler: Your politics and fashion are a perfect match.

Lady Gaga: Thanks. Did you see my performance?

Amy Poehler: It was very unique.
Lady Gaga: Thanks. Platinum Smalls hated it.

Amy Poehler: Is that your drummer you slept with?

Lady Gaga: No. He said we were live from the Phantom of the Opera House of Crack.

Amy Poehler: I know that place. Tina and I did two shows there.

[Lady Gaga reacts with awkward silence]

Lady Gaga: Well, I should go, but this was great. You should stop by the House.

Amy Poehler: The House of Gaga?

Lady Gaga: Yeah. We actually have a penguin print origami dress you could wear.
Contributor: Platinum Smalls

Forget Swift, Jay Cutler Is Not Rapper’s Delight

During the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards, Kanye West assailed Taylor Swift. Hours earlier, West staged a similar tirade.

[Soldier Field: Chicago, Illinois]

[Jay Cutler is answering a reporter’s question inside the Chicago Bears locker room]

Jay Cutler: You know, the Bears haven’t had a Pro Bowl quarterback since Jim McMahon and you know, I want to provide that type of leadership.

[As Cutler concludes his answer, Kanye West enters and seizes the reporter’s microphone]

Kanye West: Yo, Jay. I’m really happy for you, but Jim McMahon was one of the best quarterbacks of all time.
[Cutler stares toward West with stunned silence]

Kanye West: In 1985, Jim McMahon won fifteen games, scored his second straight winning season and playoff appearance. In your whole career, you’ve won seventeen games, never had a winning season or been to the playoffs.

Jay Cutler: Kanye… How could you be so heartless?

Kanye West: Denver almost traded you and you cried. Jim McMahon was traded and said f the coach.
Jay Cutler: What are you saying? You want me to be stronger?

Kanye West: I’m sayin you an Indiana Boy, you livin the good life, you think you can touch the sky, but you ain’t ever won. You never won at Denver and you came from Vanderbilt.

Jay Cutler: Don’t think I’ll survive the flashing lights?

Kanye West: Jay, I’m happy for you, but you ain’t amazing. The Bears were in the Super Bowl two years ago and with you, they could all fall down.

Contributor: Platinum Smalls

And I’m Googling

Russell Brand

His credits include Bedtime Stories, Big Brother’s Big Mouth, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and St Trinian's. In Brand’s opinion, he is an S&M Willy Wonka. In my opinion, he is obnoxious and the Video Music Awards worst host ever.

Contributor: Platinum Smalls