Dallas Dilemma: A Star Wants Stardom

As Googling Atlee Hammaker referenced (we don’t report the news, we simply mock it), Tony Romo is dating twenty-two year old Natalie Smith, the daughter of his college coach. Owner Jerry Jones is clearly concerned with his quarterback’s conduct (inept plunge from Carrie Underwood to cocktail waitress), as evidenced by this partial transcript (which we obtained from someone before they cheated)…
Jerry Jones: Tony, I just told ESPN you’re the cornerstone of our franchise.
Tony Romo: I missed the interview.
Jerry Jones: Were you throwing? Watching film?
Tony Romo: I was walking my girlfriend home from class.
Jerry Jones: Tony, we need to discuss this situation.
Tony Romo: Jerry, the T.O. Show requested an appearance… I said no.
Jerry Jones: We need to discuss your publicity.
Tony Romo: I know… I’m on the covers of In Touch, People, Us Weekly, and Sports Illustrated… You think I could have my own show?
Contributor: Platinum Smalls

Tony Romo Tarnishes His Star (Yes, Again)

According to US Weekly (all the news that’s hit and quit), Tony Romo is dating twenty-two year old Natalie Smith, the daughter of his college coach… While this scenario screams celebrity transcript (and we promise one), Googling Atlee Hammaker believes that a review of Romo’s dating downtrend is necessary…

Enjoy and recognize how inept he is…

Girlfriend #1: Carrie Underwood

Girlfriend #2: Sophia Bush

Girlfriend #3: Jessica Simpson

Contributor: Platinum Smalls

Tush to Bush: You’re My Romo

According to US Weekly and Kim Kardashian’s reps (people who pretend to listen when she talks), Kim K and Reggie Bush have split. Their farewell was heartbreaking, as evidenced by this partial transcript (which I was e-mailed after someone stopped pretending)...
Kim: I’ve been thinking a lot…
Reggie: Are you alright?
Kim: Yes… Would you turn that television off, I can hear it over you.
Reggie: It’s chill… Ray-J’s on the screen…
Kim: Listen, I think we need to end it
Reggie: Why?
Kim: Only 1,550 yards and 20 touchdowns in three seasons
Reggie: You’re not one of those haters calling me a bust are you?
Kim: No… The truth is, I’m exhausted…
Reggie: You and Ray-J filming again?
Kim: I just got Kourtney and Khloe off to their own show… You know how hard that was?
Reggie: As hard as convincing everyone I wasn’t dating a porn star…
Kim: Baby, I’ll always love you… But its time for me to dump the overhyped baggage on my arm… Like Tony Romo…

Contributor: Platinum Smalls