Dallas Dilemma: A Star Wants Stardom

As Googling Atlee Hammaker referenced (we don’t report the news, we simply mock it), Tony Romo is dating twenty-two year old Natalie Smith, the daughter of his college coach. Owner Jerry Jones is clearly concerned with his quarterback’s conduct (inept plunge from Carrie Underwood to cocktail waitress), as evidenced by this partial transcript (which we obtained from someone before they cheated)…
Jerry Jones: Tony, I just told ESPN you’re the cornerstone of our franchise.
Tony Romo: I missed the interview.
Jerry Jones: Were you throwing? Watching film?
Tony Romo: I was walking my girlfriend home from class.
Jerry Jones: Tony, we need to discuss this situation.
Tony Romo: Jerry, the T.O. Show requested an appearance… I said no.
Jerry Jones: We need to discuss your publicity.
Tony Romo: I know… I’m on the covers of In Touch, People, Us Weekly, and Sports Illustrated… You think I could have my own show?
Contributor: Platinum Smalls