Single Pigskin Option: Obama Hopes For Healthcare Football

On August 6, White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs said, “We’ll still be playing college football when the President signs health care… It will be October or November.”
While Googling Atlee Hammaker doubts that the required votes will ever materialize, President Obama has garnered grander upsets (ask Hillary Clinton)… In that spirit, we present these four healthcare signing scenarios…

Oklahoma vs. Texas: With Oklahoma leading the Red River Shootout, President Obama interrupts halftime to announce a healthcare compromise. After Oklahoma’s Congressional Delegation concedes that Texas should have been the squad opposite Florida last season, the Lone Star state’s representatives provide the required votes.
Michigan at Iowa: After Kirk Ferentz lobbies Leonard Boswell (IA-3) and the Blue Dog Democrats, President Obama signs the bill in the state that commenced his campaign. Intriguingly, Governor Sarah Palin attends the contest also.

USC at Arizona State: President Obama and Senator John McCain broker a midnight compromise, allowing the bill to be signed as the Sun Devils score a momentum shifting touchdown. Sadly, the number of California representatives which voted for the bill, will outnumber the points the Trojans score this evening.
Georgia vs. Florida: As the coin is flipped, a single payer healthcare package is signed into law. The fragile outdoor cocktail party compromise which whisked the legislation through the senate is nearly crumbled when President Obama cannot decide between Blue Moon, Red Stripe, and Sam Adams Light.

Contributor: Platinum Smalls