Saturday, September 19, 2009
Gatorola: Urban Meyer Shops Recruits
This offseason, Lane Kiffin said Urban Meyer illegally recruits. While Googling Atlee Hammaker would never accuse anyone, we obtained a suspicious memorandum.
Wesley Dustin (Wide Receiver – St. Thomas Aquinas – Fort Lauderdale, Florida)
Florida’s premiere prep pass catcher owns three state records… Receptions, touchdowns, and autographs signed between offensive series. If he commits, Dustin will receive two hundred and seventy posters, which he can sign and send to sorority pledges.
Christian Geib (Running Back – Byrnes – Duncan, South Carolina)
In three seasons, he has amassed 6,291 yards, 47 touchdowns, and 39 highlight reels sold. If Geib commits, he will three televisions with tivo, two personal assistants, and thirty percent of each dollar made utilizing his image.
Russell Isley (Running Back – Elder – Cincinnati, Ohio)
Following thirty-three touchdowns and twenty-three community theatre roles, Florida, Ohio State, Universal, and Warner Brothers have called. If he commits, Isley will receive a camera and laptop. Florida’s film school will also purchase his script.
Winston Morris (Offensive Tackle – Don Bosco Prep – Ramsey, New Jersey)
A New York Giants’ fan and former paralegal intern, he stuffs freshman into file cabinets for exercise. If he commits, Morris will receive a blackberry, bluetooth, briefcase, and several underclassman paralegals.
Wendell Rill (Quarterback – Northwestern – Miami, Florida)
America’s most prized signal caller has registered 5,121 passing yards, 3,955 rushing yards, 1,877 facebook friends, and 992 female phone numbers. His stated objective is three national championships and two relationships. If he commits, Rill will receive an apartment and a Porsche.
Tristan Rushi (Wide Receiver – Oaks Christian – Westlake Village, California)
His highlights include 301 receptions, 2,981 yards, 113 touchdowns, 201 celebration penalties, and 539 twitter tweets. If he commits, Rushi will receive a webcam and a reality show, which WCJB will broadcast.
Alex Smalley (Offensive Tackle – Oscar Smith – Chesapeake, Virginia)
While he has never missed a contest, he repeatedly misses class. He prefers shopping. If he commits, Smalley will receive an American Express Black Card, a Visa Check Card, and Project Runway: Season Five.
Contributors: Platinum Smalls & Rick Morris of the FDH Lounge
Wesley Dustin (Wide Receiver – St. Thomas Aquinas – Fort Lauderdale, Florida)Florida’s premiere prep pass catcher owns three state records… Receptions, touchdowns, and autographs signed between offensive series. If he commits, Dustin will receive two hundred and seventy posters, which he can sign and send to sorority pledges.
Christian Geib (Running Back – Byrnes – Duncan, South Carolina)
In three seasons, he has amassed 6,291 yards, 47 touchdowns, and 39 highlight reels sold. If Geib commits, he will three televisions with tivo, two personal assistants, and thirty percent of each dollar made utilizing his image.
Russell Isley (Running Back – Elder – Cincinnati, Ohio)
Following thirty-three touchdowns and twenty-three community theatre roles, Florida, Ohio State, Universal, and Warner Brothers have called. If he commits, Isley will receive a camera and laptop. Florida’s film school will also purchase his script.
Winston Morris (Offensive Tackle – Don Bosco Prep – Ramsey, New Jersey)A New York Giants’ fan and former paralegal intern, he stuffs freshman into file cabinets for exercise. If he commits, Morris will receive a blackberry, bluetooth, briefcase, and several underclassman paralegals.
Wendell Rill (Quarterback – Northwestern – Miami, Florida)
America’s most prized signal caller has registered 5,121 passing yards, 3,955 rushing yards, 1,877 facebook friends, and 992 female phone numbers. His stated objective is three national championships and two relationships. If he commits, Rill will receive an apartment and a Porsche.
Tristan Rushi (Wide Receiver – Oaks Christian – Westlake Village, California)His highlights include 301 receptions, 2,981 yards, 113 touchdowns, 201 celebration penalties, and 539 twitter tweets. If he commits, Rushi will receive a webcam and a reality show, which WCJB will broadcast.
Alex Smalley (Offensive Tackle – Oscar Smith – Chesapeake, Virginia)
While he has never missed a contest, he repeatedly misses class. He prefers shopping. If he commits, Smalley will receive an American Express Black Card, a Visa Check Card, and Project Runway: Season Five.
Contributors: Platinum Smalls & Rick Morris of the FDH Lounge
Today’s Entrance Music
The Colt McCoy Song
Versus Texas Tech, Colt McCoy has completed 64 passes for 818 yards with 10 touchdowns. This video includes as many images as completions, half as many seconds as yards, and thrice as many ass shots as scores.
Versus Texas Tech, Colt McCoy has completed 64 passes for 818 yards with 10 touchdowns. This video includes as many images as completions, half as many seconds as yards, and thrice as many ass shots as scores.
Contributor: Platinum Smalls
Friday, September 18, 2009
Chad Ocho Cinco’s Child Please Commentaries
Chad Johnson: Twenty-eight seconds? Ocho Cinco can’t execute a celebration in twenty-eight seconds. Ocho Cinco can’t promote my you stream show in twenty-eight seconds. But, we can give away a win n twenty-eight seconds. Why wasn’t I at defensive back? I would have intercepted the ball. I would have squelched, yeah I said that word, squelched Brandon Slower than me, aka Louisiana Whitening… I told Coach Coyle, I am more than the voice of authority, the voice of reason, I am the platinum playmaker and if I would have been permitted to make a play, this would be a victorious Child Please commentaries...
CP Commentary One: Someone as unaware as Coach Coyle was Kanye West, who snatched the VMA stage Sunday and told Taylor Swift Single Ladies should have won. Single Ladies? CHILD PLEASE. Carson Palmer listen to You Belong With Me and Love Story before every practice. Kanye snatched the stage not to make a point, not to right a wrong, because Kanye must always have the spotlight on Kanye… Ocho Cinco hates those that all about themselves.
CP Commentary Two: Speaking of the Video Music Awards, my man Platinum Smalls said Lady Gaga performed live from the Phantom of the Opera House of Crack. CHILD PLEASE. Chris Henry lived at the Phantom of the Opera House of Crack and there weren’t candles and dancers and white pianos and women hanging from the ceiling… Michael Irvin, Marshawn Lynch, and Amy Winehouse were always around…
CP Commentary Three: Saturday night, Floyd Money Mayweather returns to the ring. Now, Ocho Cinco know that Juan Manuel Marquez is a fellow Mexican and undefeated, but CHILD PLEASE, the man drink his own pee. Money is humble, just like the platinum playmaker and I would say he would win. But, he need to win and embarrass Juan, before urine be swallowed, not tested.
Chad Johnson: Until next time, this is Eighty-five, aka Ocho Cinco, aka the Black Mexican saying in Chad You Must Trust… Don’t drink your pee!
Contributor: Platinum Smalls
CP Commentary One: Someone as unaware as Coach Coyle was Kanye West, who snatched the VMA stage Sunday and told Taylor Swift Single Ladies should have won. Single Ladies? CHILD PLEASE. Carson Palmer listen to You Belong With Me and Love Story before every practice. Kanye snatched the stage not to make a point, not to right a wrong, because Kanye must always have the spotlight on Kanye… Ocho Cinco hates those that all about themselves.CP Commentary Two: Speaking of the Video Music Awards, my man Platinum Smalls said Lady Gaga performed live from the Phantom of the Opera House of Crack. CHILD PLEASE. Chris Henry lived at the Phantom of the Opera House of Crack and there weren’t candles and dancers and white pianos and women hanging from the ceiling… Michael Irvin, Marshawn Lynch, and Amy Winehouse were always around…CP Commentary Three: Saturday night, Floyd Money Mayweather returns to the ring. Now, Ocho Cinco know that Juan Manuel Marquez is a fellow Mexican and undefeated, but CHILD PLEASE, the man drink his own pee. Money is humble, just like the platinum playmaker and I would say he would win. But, he need to win and embarrass Juan, before urine be swallowed, not tested.Chad Johnson: Until next time, this is Eighty-five, aka Ocho Cinco, aka the Black Mexican saying in Chad You Must Trust… Don’t drink your pee!Contributor: Platinum Smalls
And I’m Googling
Guiding Light
From 1937-2009, this series enthralled drama junkies, housewives, and Rick Morris of the FDH Lounge. Kevin Bacon, Joan Collins, Calista Flockhart, Peter Gallagher, Allison Janney, James Earl Jones, Melina Kanakaredes, Nia Long, Hayden Panettiere, Brittany Snow, Mira Sorvino, Sherry Stringfield, Cicely Tyson, Christopher Walken, and Ian Ziering are notable alumni.
From 1937-2009, this series enthralled drama junkies, housewives, and Rick Morris of the FDH Lounge. Kevin Bacon, Joan Collins, Calista Flockhart, Peter Gallagher, Allison Janney, James Earl Jones, Melina Kanakaredes, Nia Long, Hayden Panettiere, Brittany Snow, Mira Sorvino, Sherry Stringfield, Cicely Tyson, Christopher Walken, and Ian Ziering are notable alumni.
Contributor: Platinum Smalls
Today’s Entry Music
Run This Town
The Blueprint 3’s co-signature selection is both an examination of celebrity and an inspirational mandate. Jay Z’s lyrics are combative and confident. Kanye West’s lyrics are reflective. And Rihanna’s vocals are evocative, as she epitomizes the entrepreneurial spirit in fifteen words.
Life’s a game, but it’s not fair. I break the rules, so I don’t care.
The Blueprint 3’s co-signature selection is both an examination of celebrity and an inspirational mandate. Jay Z’s lyrics are combative and confident. Kanye West’s lyrics are reflective. And Rihanna’s vocals are evocative, as she epitomizes the entrepreneurial spirit in fifteen words.
Life’s a game, but it’s not fair. I break the rules, so I don’t care.
Contributor: Platinum Smalls
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Baby Mama, Lady Gaga Talk Politics, Performances
On the MTV Video Music Awards, Lady Gaga acknowledged lifestyle and religion. On Parks and Recreation, Amy Poehler married two male penguins. The intentional and unintentional social statements were obvious subjects when the actress and activist met recently.
[Starbucks: Hollywood Boulevard]
[Amy Poehler is seated, reading and singing softly]
Amy Poehler: Can’t read my, can’t read my… No he can’t read my poker face…
[Lady Gaga enters. As she awaits service, she observes the actress]
Lady Gaga: Leslie Knope
[Poehler ceases reading and observes the singer]
Amy Poehler: Gaga. Are you here for a concert?
Lady Gaga: No. I’m going to the Raiders game.
Amy Poehler: Are you dating one of the players?
Lady Gaga: No. The house wanted a night off and with their fans, I can blend in.
[Poehler reacts with awkward silence]
Lady Gaga: So, I loved your show.
Amy Poehler: Thank you very much.
Lady Gaga: When you married those male penguins, it was a real statement for equal rights.
Amy Poehler: We were just trying to be cute.
Lady Gaga: Everyone was chanting your name. You were the queen.
Amy Poehler: Well, your acceptance speech really inspired me.
Lady Gaga: For God and the gays, baby.
Amy Poehler: Your politics and fashion are a perfect match.
Lady Gaga: Thanks. Did you see my performance?
Amy Poehler: It was very unique.
Lady Gaga: Thanks. Platinum Smalls hated it.
Amy Poehler: Is that your drummer you slept with?
Lady Gaga: No. He said we were live from the Phantom of the Opera House of Crack.
Amy Poehler: I know that place. Tina and I did two shows there.
[Lady Gaga reacts with awkward silence]
Lady Gaga: Well, I should go, but this was great. You should stop by the House.
Amy Poehler: The House of Gaga?
Lady Gaga: Yeah. We actually have a penguin print origami dress you could wear.
Contributor: Platinum Smalls
[Starbucks: Hollywood Boulevard][Amy Poehler is seated, reading and singing softly]
Amy Poehler: Can’t read my, can’t read my… No he can’t read my poker face…
[Lady Gaga enters. As she awaits service, she observes the actress]
Lady Gaga: Leslie Knope
[Poehler ceases reading and observes the singer]Amy Poehler: Gaga. Are you here for a concert?
Lady Gaga: No. I’m going to the Raiders game.
Amy Poehler: Are you dating one of the players?
Lady Gaga: No. The house wanted a night off and with their fans, I can blend in.
[Poehler reacts with awkward silence]Lady Gaga: So, I loved your show.
Amy Poehler: Thank you very much.
Lady Gaga: When you married those male penguins, it was a real statement for equal rights.
Amy Poehler: We were just trying to be cute.
Lady Gaga: Everyone was chanting your name. You were the queen.Amy Poehler: Well, your acceptance speech really inspired me.
Lady Gaga: For God and the gays, baby.
Amy Poehler: Your politics and fashion are a perfect match.
Lady Gaga: Thanks. Did you see my performance?
Amy Poehler: It was very unique.
Lady Gaga: Thanks. Platinum Smalls hated it.Amy Poehler: Is that your drummer you slept with?
Lady Gaga: No. He said we were live from the Phantom of the Opera House of Crack.
Amy Poehler: I know that place. Tina and I did two shows there.
[Lady Gaga reacts with awkward silence]
Lady Gaga: Well, I should go, but this was great. You should stop by the House.
Amy Poehler: The House of Gaga?
Lady Gaga: Yeah. We actually have a penguin print origami dress you could wear.
Contributor: Platinum Smalls
Today’s Entrance Music
Hello Zepp
This selection’s initial sequence perfectly summarizes. Miami has experienced anger, frustration, hardship, and loss. The time for change has come.
This selection’s initial sequence perfectly summarizes. Miami has experienced anger, frustration, hardship, and loss. The time for change has come.
Contributor: Platinum Smalls
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Ranger State of Mind
Since the MTV Video Music Awards, Empire State of Mind has ensorcelled the city that never sleeps. Jay Z’s alternative version will not alter this…
Yeah, Imma up at fiftieth,
Now, I’m down at twenty-sixth,
Right next to Madison,
But, I’ll own eighth forever,
I’m the new Mark Messier,
And trust me when I guarantee,
I’ll win us another ring,
And they’ll love me forever,
I used to skate in Edmonton,
All of my Canadians,
Right there up in Rexall,
Where I scored only sixty points,
Took that to my agent,
I said get me outta here,
They trade me for cash, players, I have no fear,
Now I cruise down 8th street,
Off white Lexus,
Driving so slow but BL is from Texas,
Me I’m from Canada,
Home of Wayne Gretzky,
Now I live on Park Place,
And I brought my boys with me,
Say wat up to Brashear, still sipping cheap beer,
Sitting courtside Knicks and Nets know I’m here,
Sucka, I be Spiked out, I can trip a referee,
Tell by my attitude that we most definitely…
In New York,
Frozen palace where dreams are made of,
There’s nothing they can’t do,
The Rangers of New York,
The Garden makes you feel brand new,
The Blue shirts inspire you,
Let’s hear it for New York, New York, New York.
Catch me in the Tabs with Richter at a Yankee game,
Mike I made the Yankee hat more famous than a Yankee can,
You should know I bleed blue, but I ain’t a king tho,
But I got a gang of enforcers that’s my clique though,
Welcome to the money spot,
Center where the puck drops,
Vulcanized rubber soars,
Home of the slap shot,
Devil cap, Flyer cap, Dollar cab, Holla back,
For Islanders it ain’t fitted they forgot how to act,
Fourteen squads are out there and their naked,
Conference is a pity half of them won’t make it,
Me I got special skills and I got it made,
If Crosby is Lebron, then I’m Dwayne Wade,
Three goal Malkin,
Three goal Parise,
Opening night, rest in peace Alexi,
Salute the crowd, long live the blue seats,
Long live the goal song,
I’m from the empire state that’s….
In New York,
Frozen palace where dreams are made of,
There’s nothing they can’t do,
The Rangers of New York,
The Garden makes you feel brand new,
The Blue shirts inspire you,
Let’s hear it for New York, New York, New York.
Lights is blinding,
Rooks need blinders,
So they can step off the wall quick,
The side boards are blind with casualties,
Who skate the puck casually, then gradually become worse,
Don’t believe the hype see,
Caught up in the in crowd,
Now they in style,
And in the season get high and wasted on their nights out,
The cities of sin are a pity on a whim,
Good rooks gone bad, this league is filled with them,
Redden took a cab ride and now he all strung out,
Everybody own him, just like a spare couch,
Hail Mary to the Gods we need a left wing,
But Sather can’t save us life starts when this song ends,
Came here as no one, graduated to the high life,
Ball players, rap stars, addicted to the limelight,
This ain’t 94, but we will be back again,
This city will not sleep when we are a champion...
In New York,
Frozen palace where dreams are made of,
There’s nothing they can’t do,
The Rangers of New York,
The Garden makes you feel brand new,
The Blue shirts inspire you,
Let’s hear it for New York, New York, New York.
Contributor: Platinum Smalls
Yeah, Imma up at fiftieth,
Now, I’m down at twenty-sixth,
Right next to Madison,
But, I’ll own eighth forever,
I’m the new Mark Messier,
And trust me when I guarantee,
I’ll win us another ring,
And they’ll love me forever,
I used to skate in Edmonton,
All of my Canadians,
Right there up in Rexall,
Where I scored only sixty points,
Took that to my agent,
I said get me outta here,
They trade me for cash, players, I have no fear,
Now I cruise down 8th street,
Off white Lexus,
Driving so slow but BL is from Texas,
Me I’m from Canada,
Home of Wayne Gretzky,
Now I live on Park Place,
And I brought my boys with me,
Say wat up to Brashear, still sipping cheap beer,
Sitting courtside Knicks and Nets know I’m here,
Sucka, I be Spiked out, I can trip a referee,
Tell by my attitude that we most definitely…
In New York,
Frozen palace where dreams are made of,
There’s nothing they can’t do,
The Rangers of New York,
The Garden makes you feel brand new,
The Blue shirts inspire you,
Let’s hear it for New York, New York, New York.
Catch me in the Tabs with Richter at a Yankee game,Mike I made the Yankee hat more famous than a Yankee can,
You should know I bleed blue, but I ain’t a king tho,
But I got a gang of enforcers that’s my clique though,
Welcome to the money spot,
Center where the puck drops,
Vulcanized rubber soars,
Home of the slap shot,
Devil cap, Flyer cap, Dollar cab, Holla back,
For Islanders it ain’t fitted they forgot how to act,
Fourteen squads are out there and their naked,
Conference is a pity half of them won’t make it,
Me I got special skills and I got it made,
If Crosby is Lebron, then I’m Dwayne Wade,
Three goal Malkin,
Three goal Parise,
Opening night, rest in peace Alexi,
Salute the crowd, long live the blue seats,
Long live the goal song,
I’m from the empire state that’s….
In New York,
Frozen palace where dreams are made of,
There’s nothing they can’t do,
The Rangers of New York,
The Garden makes you feel brand new,
The Blue shirts inspire you,
Let’s hear it for New York, New York, New York.
Lights is blinding,Rooks need blinders,
So they can step off the wall quick,
The side boards are blind with casualties,
Who skate the puck casually, then gradually become worse,
Don’t believe the hype see,
Caught up in the in crowd,
Now they in style,
And in the season get high and wasted on their nights out,
The cities of sin are a pity on a whim,
Good rooks gone bad, this league is filled with them,
Redden took a cab ride and now he all strung out,
Everybody own him, just like a spare couch,
Hail Mary to the Gods we need a left wing,
But Sather can’t save us life starts when this song ends,
Came here as no one, graduated to the high life,
Ball players, rap stars, addicted to the limelight,
This ain’t 94, but we will be back again,
This city will not sleep when we are a champion...
In New York,
Frozen palace where dreams are made of,
There’s nothing they can’t do,
The Rangers of New York,
The Garden makes you feel brand new,
The Blue shirts inspire you,
Let’s hear it for New York, New York, New York.
Contributor: Platinum Smalls
And I’m Googling
The National Sports Daily
Dave Kindred, Tony Kornheiser, Mike Lupica, Ivan Maisel, Jay Mariotti, Dave Meltzer, and Chris Mortensen were columnists. Imagine walking through that newsroom.
Contributor: Platinum Smalls
Dave Kindred, Tony Kornheiser, Mike Lupica, Ivan Maisel, Jay Mariotti, Dave Meltzer, and Chris Mortensen were columnists. Imagine walking through that newsroom.
Contributor: Platinum Smalls
Today’s Entrance Music
Paparazzi
Lady Gaga’s adoration and stalker ode has been perfectly portrayed as a selection which “takes up residence in your brain and refuses to budge.” Her Video Music Awards performance, Live from the Phantom of the Opera House of Crack, could encompass several conversations. Her cinematic video, which includes domestic violence and revenge murder, could rouse a generation of artists.
Contributor: Platinum Smalls
Lady Gaga’s adoration and stalker ode has been perfectly portrayed as a selection which “takes up residence in your brain and refuses to budge.” Her Video Music Awards performance, Live from the Phantom of the Opera House of Crack, could encompass several conversations. Her cinematic video, which includes domestic violence and revenge murder, could rouse a generation of artists.
Contributor: Platinum Smalls
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Seymour’s Solicitation: God Save Me
On September 6, the New England Patriots traded Richard Seymour to the Oakland Raiders. Most players join their new squads immediately. Seymour ignored the inevitable and requested divine intervention.
[People’s Baptist Church: Boston, Massachusetts]
[Richard Seymour kneels before an alter]
Richard Seymour: God, it’s me.
God: Richard. With what I’ve seen on sportscenter, I’m surprised you have the time.
Richard Seymour: Are you busy?
God: Just watching the game, having a Bud.
Richard Seymour: God, I’ve always said faith, family, football.
God: I know you have.
Richard Seymour: My wife and I pray and we would’ve gone to church, but I had to work.
God: I understand.
Richard Seymour: Then why?
God: I’m kind of into testing people and after $54 million, five pro bowls, and three titles, you deserved some adversity.
Richard Seymour: Weren’t there other options? Disease... Injury…. What about an illegitimate child?
God: Each of those were to simplistic. Diseases are curable. You’ve had injuries. And I tried an illegitimate child with Tom Brady…
Richard Seymour: But, why the Raiders?
God: After Al Davis, Randy Moss’ escape, Super Bowl XXXVII, and the Tuck Rule, don’t you think I owed them?
[People’s Baptist Church: Boston, Massachusetts][Richard Seymour kneels before an alter]
Richard Seymour: God, it’s me.
God: Richard. With what I’ve seen on sportscenter, I’m surprised you have the time.
Richard Seymour: Are you busy?
God: Just watching the game, having a Bud.
Richard Seymour: God, I’ve always said faith, family, football.God: I know you have.
Richard Seymour: My wife and I pray and we would’ve gone to church, but I had to work.
God: I understand.
Richard Seymour: Then why?
God: I’m kind of into testing people and after $54 million, five pro bowls, and three titles, you deserved some adversity.
Richard Seymour: Weren’t there other options? Disease... Injury…. What about an illegitimate child?God: Each of those were to simplistic. Diseases are curable. You’ve had injuries. And I tried an illegitimate child with Tom Brady…
Richard Seymour: But, why the Raiders?
God: After Al Davis, Randy Moss’ escape, Super Bowl XXXVII, and the Tuck Rule, don’t you think I owed them?
Contributors: Spastik Moose & Platinum Smalls
Today’s Entrance Music
Bust Your Windows
Heart broken? Did someone nefarious do you wrong? Do you need the perfect way to let off some steam? Then check out this music video from the new FOX show Glee. I'm plugging it because I love the show and because I just remembered how hot high school cheerleaders are.
Contributor: The Dentist
Heart broken? Did someone nefarious do you wrong? Do you need the perfect way to let off some steam? Then check out this music video from the new FOX show Glee. I'm plugging it because I love the show and because I just remembered how hot high school cheerleaders are.
Contributor: The Dentist
Monday, September 14, 2009
Forget Swift, Jay Cutler Is Not Rapper’s Delight
During the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards, Kanye West assailed Taylor Swift. Hours earlier, West staged a similar tirade.
[Soldier Field: Chicago, Illinois]
[Jay Cutler is answering a reporter’s question inside the Chicago Bears locker room]
Jay Cutler: You know, the Bears haven’t had a Pro Bowl quarterback since Jim McMahon and you know, I want to provide that type of leadership.
[As Cutler concludes his answer, Kanye West enters and seizes the reporter’s microphone]
Kanye West: Yo, Jay. I’m really happy for you, but Jim McMahon was one of the best quarterbacks of all time.
[Cutler stares toward West with stunned silence]
Kanye West: In 1985, Jim McMahon won fifteen games, scored his second straight winning season and playoff appearance. In your whole career, you’ve won seventeen games, never had a winning season or been to the playoffs.
Jay Cutler: Kanye… How could you be so heartless?
Kanye West: Denver almost traded you and you cried. Jim McMahon was traded and said f the coach.
Jay Cutler: What are you saying? You want me to be stronger?
Kanye West: I’m sayin you an Indiana Boy, you livin the good life, you think you can touch the sky, but you ain’t ever won. You never won at Denver and you came from Vanderbilt.
Jay Cutler: Don’t think I’ll survive the flashing lights?
Kanye West: Jay, I’m happy for you, but you ain’t amazing. The Bears were in the Super Bowl two years ago and with you, they could all fall down.
[Soldier Field: Chicago, Illinois]
[Jay Cutler is answering a reporter’s question inside the Chicago Bears locker room]
Jay Cutler: You know, the Bears haven’t had a Pro Bowl quarterback since Jim McMahon and you know, I want to provide that type of leadership.
[As Cutler concludes his answer, Kanye West enters and seizes the reporter’s microphone]
Kanye West: Yo, Jay. I’m really happy for you, but Jim McMahon was one of the best quarterbacks of all time.
[Cutler stares toward West with stunned silence]Kanye West: In 1985, Jim McMahon won fifteen games, scored his second straight winning season and playoff appearance. In your whole career, you’ve won seventeen games, never had a winning season or been to the playoffs.
Jay Cutler: Kanye… How could you be so heartless?
Kanye West: Denver almost traded you and you cried. Jim McMahon was traded and said f the coach.
Jay Cutler: What are you saying? You want me to be stronger?Kanye West: I’m sayin you an Indiana Boy, you livin the good life, you think you can touch the sky, but you ain’t ever won. You never won at Denver and you came from Vanderbilt.
Jay Cutler: Don’t think I’ll survive the flashing lights?
Kanye West: Jay, I’m happy for you, but you ain’t amazing. The Bears were in the Super Bowl two years ago and with you, they could all fall down.
Contributor: Platinum Smalls
And I’m Googling
Russell Brand
His credits include Bedtime Stories, Big Brother’s Big Mouth, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and St Trinian's. In Brand’s opinion, he is an S&M Willy Wonka. In my opinion, he is obnoxious and the Video Music Awards worst host ever.
His credits include Bedtime Stories, Big Brother’s Big Mouth, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and St Trinian's. In Brand’s opinion, he is an S&M Willy Wonka. In my opinion, he is obnoxious and the Video Music Awards worst host ever.
Contributor: Platinum Smalls
Today’s Entrance Music
Empire State of Mind
Jay Z and Alicia Keys’ epic collaboration salutes New York. However, this selection is a universal artistic anthem. Keys’ sterling piano and vocals motivate one to realize words, which evoke aspiration, inspiration, and passion.
In New York, concrete jungle where dreams are made of, there's nothing you can't do... Now, you're in New York. These streets will make you feel brand new, these lights will inspire you... Let's here it for New York, New York, New York!!
Contributor: Platinum Smalls
Jay Z and Alicia Keys’ epic collaboration salutes New York. However, this selection is a universal artistic anthem. Keys’ sterling piano and vocals motivate one to realize words, which evoke aspiration, inspiration, and passion.
In New York, concrete jungle where dreams are made of, there's nothing you can't do... Now, you're in New York. These streets will make you feel brand new, these lights will inspire you... Let's here it for New York, New York, New York!!
Contributor: Platinum Smalls
Sunday, September 13, 2009
USC vs. Ohio State Live Blog Explanation Statement
Epic expectations include incomparable egg and I have been scraping last night’s away for several hours. While logistics and technical intricacies were issues, both should have been overcome. I apologize to everyone who watched and those who were encouraged to watch. No one is more disappointed than I am.
Obviously, I am mortified and could abandon live blogs and this project. However, writing has been everything to me. It has been my refuge. It’s been a source of joy, pain, and satisfaction. It’s provided me with a platform to share my passion with thousands and I cannot ignore this. I owe those who have read this website, those who will read this website, and those who have inspired me to continue. While the Minnesota Vikings vs. Cleveland Browns live blog was cancelled, I will continue.
Contributor: Platinum Smalls
Obviously, I am mortified and could abandon live blogs and this project. However, writing has been everything to me. It has been my refuge. It’s been a source of joy, pain, and satisfaction. It’s provided me with a platform to share my passion with thousands and I cannot ignore this. I owe those who have read this website, those who will read this website, and those who have inspired me to continue. While the Minnesota Vikings vs. Cleveland Browns live blog was cancelled, I will continue.
Contributor: Platinum Smalls
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