Tush to Bush: You’re My Romo

According to US Weekly and Kim Kardashian’s reps (people who pretend to listen when she talks), Kim K and Reggie Bush have split. Their farewell was heartbreaking, as evidenced by this partial transcript (which I was e-mailed after someone stopped pretending)...
Kim: I’ve been thinking a lot…
Reggie: Are you alright?
Kim: Yes… Would you turn that television off, I can hear it over you.
Reggie: It’s chill… Ray-J’s on the screen…
Kim: Listen, I think we need to end it
Reggie: Why?
Kim: Only 1,550 yards and 20 touchdowns in three seasons
Reggie: You’re not one of those haters calling me a bust are you?
Kim: No… The truth is, I’m exhausted…
Reggie: You and Ray-J filming again?
Kim: I just got Kourtney and Khloe off to their own show… You know how hard that was?
Reggie: As hard as convincing everyone I wasn’t dating a porn star…
Kim: Baby, I’ll always love you… But its time for me to dump the overhyped baggage on my arm… Like Tony Romo…

Contributor: Platinum Smalls