Assessing the Criminal, Phony, & Selfish

“10 Most Disliked People in Sports,” an assemblage of the criminal, phony, and selfish, has been released by E-Poll and Forbes. Now, I could discuss the fallacy of surveys such as this. I could discuss that “disliked” is individual and regional. I could discuss that the majority of fans aren’t informed enough to participate in a drunken discussion, let alone a scientific survey (yes, I said it)… But, I cannot and would never sacrifice an opportunity to scorch those who warrant it...

1. Michael Vick: He may be the only the person in this nation phoning George W. Bush for popularity advice. Those speculating whether or not can he can rehabilitate his image should instead asses whether Citigroup can survive one week without awarding a bonus.

2. Manny Ramirez: While obscene attitude and steroids (not once, but twice) are ample justification for a top ten ranking, Ramirez should have been outranked by others in baseball…

3. Alex Rodriguez: A-Roid should have been a landslide number two. Cheating on the front page of the tabloids… Confessing steroids after denouncing them… John Edwards and his illegitimate child think he’s disingenuous.

4. Terrell Owens: His antics are insipid, but they don’t make me want to toss my television while his show is on it… Owens is the type of jerk you love when he’s performing… It’s when he’s not that life is difficult…
5. Kobe Bryant: If “10 Most Smug People in Sports” were published, Bryant would consume seven of the top ten sports (we have to set aside three for his ego)… His Most Valuable Puppet can’t even conduct an interview that doesn’t make me nauseous.

6. Allen Iverson: He has legal and music setbacks in his career, but arrogance has never been his overwhelming issue… The fact he can’t win is his overwhelming issue…

7. Isiah Thomas: If New Yorkers or women were the only people voting, Thomas would win in a walk. As for the national opinion, he has been banished into… what no one has heard of it college is he coaching at again?

8. Stephon Marbury: If New Yorkers were the only people voting, Marbury vs. Thomas would be closer than Bush vs. Gore (and I wouldn’t want to be one of the nine souls deciding the outcome). With his contract expired, he has as much of a chance of returning to the association, as he does attracting viewers to his moronic webcast.
9. Nick Saban: Is there a college football program, professional football organization, or citizen of this nation that he hasn’t offended? No one (with the exception of Alabama fans) didn’t enjoy watching Utah take his faux top five Tide out for a walk.

10. John McEnroe: I won’t risk carpel tunnel typing what an idiotic selection this was…

Contributor: Platinum Smalls