Plaxico Teases Grand Jury

Plaxico Burress testified today… He was truthful, he was honest, and he’s truly remorseful for costing himself millions… While the testimony is supposed to be secret, Googling Atlee Hammaker has obtained this partial transcript (which was encrypted into the second page of the style section of our New York Times)…
District Attorney: Did you carry an unregistered weapon into the Latin Quarter Night Club?
Plaxico Burress: No
District Attorney: Should I remind you of what contempt is?
Plaxico Burress: Remind me? You never told me…
District Attorney: You deny having a weapon inside the Latin Quarter Night Club the evening you suffered a gun shot wound?
Plaxico Burress: No, I don’t deny it.
District Attorney: You denied carrying an unregistered weapon into the club.
Plaxico Burress: Yeah.
District Attorney: If you didn’t carry a weapon into the club, how did you suffer a gunshot wound?
Plaxico Burress: The gun hidden in my pants shot me… Don’t you read TMZ?

Contributor: Platinum Smalls