FDH, President Obama Share Undignified Consultation

On the FDH Lounge: Volume 77, Rick Morris misidentified an author, seemed uninformed, and spoke randomly. Hours subsequent, he repeated his mistakes, as evidenced by this partial transcript (which someone e-mailed us after watching the Office)…
President Obama: Rick, I have a briefing about Chicago’s 2020 Olympic bid next, but I need some fantasy football advice.
Rick Morris: Let’s take our time. If we’re talking, you’re not exacerbating America’s problems.
President Obama: You mean solving America’s problems?
Rick Morris: Have you attempted any solutions?
President Obama: The American Recovery and Reinvestment Act, the American Clean Energy and Security Act, America’s Affordable Health Choices Act, these aren’t solutions?
Rick Morris: Uncontrolled spending, irrational environmentalism, socialized medicine are kinds of solutions.
President Obama: It’s clear we have ideological differences, but you and I both know which kicker should start.
Rick Morris: Adam Vinatieri.
President Obama: Isn’t he out four weeks after knee surgery?
Rick Morris: I don’t know. My producer Ryan Isley reads that stuff to me.
President Obama: Running back is my volatile issue. I have Joseph Addai and Pierre Thomas and Thomas was my choice, but Matthew Berry said I shouldn’t start him against the Giants.
Rick Morris: Matthew Berry also said you shouldn’t start Adrian Peterson against the Chargers.
President Obama: Now, hold on a second, everyone makes mistakes. You voted for President Bush.
Rick Morris: You always blame him for something.
President Obama: It’s blame you can believe in. Now, I’m in a three wide receiver league and Roddy White, Andre Johnson, and Braylon Edwards are my starters.
Rick Morris: Braylon is an interesting choice. Mark Sanchez said the biggest key for him is to play loose.
President Obama: I think you’re mistaken. Braylon said that about Mark Sanchez.
Rick Morris: Sorry, Mr. President. I was following the live blog of our conversation on Googling Atlee Hammaker.
President Obama: I like that blog. I read it instead of reports that claim the stimulus isn’t working. Should Romo start as my quarterback?
Rick Morris: Have you seen Romo’s college coed? I’d like to show her my stimulus…
President Obama: Rick, you’re as unfocused as my administration.
Rick Morris: The Schrute Beet Farm covers forty acres.
President Obama: It’s like Joe Biden. What will you say next?
Rick Morris: BANANA WAFFLES.
President Obama: We served those at the G-20. Now, which defense should I start?
Rick Morris: My Townhall Protest Mob team is starting the Ravens.
President Obama: Townhall Protest Mob? You’re really a critic of healthcare?
Rick Morris: Not the panels of bureaucrats to kill off senior citizens. Speaking of that, Larry Dolan is 78. What’s the minimum eligible age?
Contributors: Platinum Smalls & Ryan Isley