Chad Ocho Cinco’s Child Please Commentaries

Chad Johnson: Ocho Cinco fixed and planted the Lambeau Leap? Why my haters not respect creativity? Why they call me a fraud? I said I would leap and I leaped. I didn’t say w here I would leap. I didn’t say how I would leap. I didn’t say into who I would leap. I said I would leap and I was more than the voice of authority, the voice of reason, I am the platinum playmaker turned platinum celebrator and this is a victorious Child Please commentaries…
CP Commentary One: Milton Bradley accepted his suspension. Accepted his suspension? CHILD PLEASE. You think Chris Henry said Commissioner Goodell, eight games is excessive, I only want four. You think Ocho Cinco name his fines? Not fifteen thousand, ten thousand. I danced that’s only worth five thousand. Milton Bradley hit less home runs than Ramon Hernandez and played on more teams than Tank Johnson. He should volunteer for that suspension.
CP Commentary Two: According to Michael Ventre, Jet fan has been wearing the same twelve jersey since the sixth grade. Before Jet fan say anything and you know they still screamin four letters that ain’t the team name, they should admit that they not the king of no hill, they not the top of no help, they and their city should just stay asleep. Jet fan get a big CHILD PLEASE.
CP Commentary Three: President Obama plans another cash program. People can swap they old appliances like they cars. CHILD PLEASE. America need a Cash for Chad program. Trade Chad Johnson jerseys for cash and buy a brand new Ocho Cinco jersey. Stores sell more jerseys, they hire more people, people have more money, and they spend that money to watch Ocho Cinco play.
CP Commentary Four: Lloyd’s of London made Mark McGwire take andro. Who Lloyd’s of London? Did Jim Carrey remake that movie? Did Ari’s assistant relocate? And how they tell an athlete take drugs? McGwire couldn’t say no? He couldn’t scream this will ruin my career? CHILD PLEASE. What next? Barry Bonds say he had to take steroids?
Chad Johnson: Until next time, this is Eighty-five, aka Ocho Cinco, aka the Black Mexican saying in Chad You Must Trust… I pay my fines and I don’t use no juice!

Contributor: Platinum Smalls