Fans Monetary Mantra: If They Suck, We Shouldn’t Pay

On September 3, Boise State defeated Oregon 19-8. Oregon Alum Tony Seminary, who attended the contest, sent his alma mater an invoice for tickets and travel expenses. Oregon Coach Chip Kelly reimbursed him.

Seminary’s actions and results have inspired others.
Earlier this month, Juan Martin Del Porto defeated Roger Federer 3–6, 7–6, 4–6, 7–6, 6–2. Seventeen year old Caleb Perry, who has idolized Federer, postponed two dates to attend the match. His invoice requests $439. $250 for his ticket; $139 for his idol’s replica sweater; $29 for food and snacks; $21 for bus fare; and three autographs, one for him and two for his girlfriends.

On September 13, the San Francisco Giants defeated the Los Angeles Dodgers 7-2. Los Angeles Lawyer Steven Becker skipped lunch with parents and massage therapy with his mistress. His invoice requests $365. $258 for his flight, which seated him between an overweight accountant and an unintelligent model; $64 for his ticket; $26 for three beers, one of which he threw toward another fan; and $17 for a t-shirt, which he vowed would coat his hamster cage.
On Sunday, Jeff Gordon finished fifteenth. Missouri Sanitation Supervisor Keith Tripp wasted three vacation days and three trash routes were neglected. His invoice requests $577. $219 for his flight, which seated him beside someone who mocked motorsports; $190 for his hotel; $90 for his ticket; $65 for a die cast car; and $13 for a case of beer, which he purchased for three tailgaters, who questioned his rainbow colored shirt.

Last weekend, the Denver Broncos defeated the Cleveland Browns 27-6. Cleveland Electricians Michael and Roger Sherman asserted illness and sacrificed their neighbor’s electricity. Their invoice requests $889. $432 for their flight; $268 for their hotel; $110 for their tickets, which seated them between several who threatened them; $43 for transportation to a venue which sold Budweiser; and $36 for Budwesier.

Two days ago, the Philadelphia Flyers defeated the Detroit Red Wings 5-2. General Motors Second Shift Alex Whitaker celebrated his employment with a vacation. His invoice requests $216. $112 for gas; $61 food; $24 for a t-shirt, and $19 for a ticket, which he purchased from internet seller MV7, who prefers canine confrontations over power plays.
Contributor: Platinum Smalls