Barker, Baskett, & Twitter: Elton John Couldn’t Write This

As Bob Barker hosted Monday Night Raw, speculation sizzled he had passed away. While this rumor was ridiculous, the obvious was again apparent. Tweeters are unfamiliar with restraint or verification.

I’ll bet this rumor resurfaces around Christmas Day, as Hank and Kendra Baskett welcome their initial child.

Hank wears his jersey like a crown,
He calls his fetus Hank,
‘Cause he likes the name,
And he’ll send him to any school he can afford.

Hank, Hank likes his wife’s money,
Kendra makes a lot they say,
Hank himself is penniless,
Philadelphia released him today.
He’ll be born to a bunny and scrub on a Christmas Day,
When twitter will say Barker’s dead again,
And the Cavs have won,
Hank Baskett has a son today.

And he shall be Baskett,
He’ll think L.T.’s the man,
And he shall be Baskett,
Like his mama the Chargers fan,
And he shall be Baskett,
He’ll think L.T.’s the man,
He shall be Baskett.
Kendra sells old Playboy mags in town,
Her solo business thrives,
Hank sells autographs on the net,
And watches as no one will buy.

And Kendra, she wants to go to Hefner
And leave Hank far behind,
Take her son and shoot a new cover
While Hank, Hank slowly dies.
He’ll be born to a bunny and scrub on a Christmas Day,
When twitter will say Barker’s dead again,
And the Cavs have won,
Hank Baskett has a son today.

And he shall be Baskett,
He’ll think L.T.’s the man,
And he shall be Baskett,
Like his mama the Chargers fan,
And he shall be Baskett,
He’ll think L.T.’s the man,
He shall be Baskett.

Contributors: Platinum Smalls & Rick Morris of the FDH Lounge