Lights Out: Tequila’s Television Inspires Merriman Scene

On Sunday, Shawne Merriman was charged with battery and false imprisonment. On Monday, Tila Tequila’s 911 call transcript was released. 911 Operator: San Diego County 911.

Tila Tequila: This is Tila Tequila. You’ve probably heard of me. My boyfriend has gone crazy.

911 Operator: Mam, I’ve never heard of you. What is your emergency?

Tila Tequila: I’ve had two reality shows. A Shot at Love and A Shot at Love Two. I did a book.

911 Operator: Honestly mam, I’ve never heard of you. What is your emergency?

Shawne Merriman: You and that ho used a banana?!

Tila Tequila: My boyfriend saw the deleted scenes.

911 Operator: Where is your boyfriend now?

Tila Tequila: That’s him in the background. He’s been screaming and breaking things. He won’t let me leave.

Shawn Merriman: Four of you? With a sex swing and play doh?!
Tila Tequila: Can you help me?

911 Operator: What did you do with the play doh?

Tila Tequila: Should that matter? He tried to choke me. He threw me to the ground!

911 Operator: Did he throw you from a sex swing?

Shawne Merriman: You jerked him off with a Tickle Me Elmo?
Tila Tequila: Please help me! He’s throwing Patron bottles.

911 Operator: Has he been drinking?

Tila Tequila: We were at a nightclub.

911 Operator: Were you both drinking?

Tila Tequila: I’m not drunk! I gave him a lap dance.

Shawne Merriman: Cheerleading uniforms, handcuffs, and fruit and yogurt parfaits? I can’t believe we’re acquaintances!
Tila Tequila: Oh my god! I think he just broke a mirror.

911 Operator: Mam, the police are on their way.

Tila Tequila: Thank you so much.

911 Operator: Are you alright until they arrive?

Tila Tequila: Not if he sees the Easter Eggs.

911 Operator: How were they used?
Contributor: Platinum Smalls